Book: I will be one of the best things you read this year.
Book: You will fall in love with my characters.
Book: I'm so good, you'll lose sleep over me.
Book: I'm part of a series.
Book: So you can feel the pain of a character dying in each book.
Book: I will break you emotionally.
Book: I will make you forget the real world.
Book: I will ruin all potential future love interests for you.
Book: You will be emotionally attached to me.
Book: You are mine.